Super Spouse!

I read 1 Corinthians 7 and it is a reminder to me.  It is a reminder to me that my wife, Janann, isn't my salvation.  What do I mean?  I have mistakenly put way too much responsibility on my wife for my joy, happiness, and satisfaction.

Here is the trap.  Without realizing it I have looked to my wife to be things to me that she was never designed to be or do.  Many of us fall into this trap of marriage.  We marry because that person makes us feel like no other person has ever made us feel.  We feel alive with them.  We feel special and valuable to them and with them.  So we look to them to constantly feed that to our hearts.

Here is the problem.  My wife's purpose is not for my satisfaction, my feeling alive, my feeling fulfilled.  Did you heart that?  My wife isn't God.  Satisfaction, life, and fulfillment are things only God can deliver.  When I put my wife in that spot she never measures up and then she becomes the target of my frustration and hurt.

I remember when I learned this.  Moving to Orlando I left many friendships and relationships I had built in Lakeland, Florida.  It was just Janann, my three kids, and me.  We struggled here our first year because I put my wife in the spot of God.  I needed her to satisfy the void of relationships with other guys that I had lost leaving Lakeland.  I don't know if you've noticed, but my wife isn't a guy and thankfully so.  My point is that I was looking for her to provide something she was never meant to provide.

Yes, my wife is the best expression of God's love for me in that she feeds my heart.  But my wife was not meant to be my everything.  Jesus is.  My marriage has grown when I learned that.  Now, Janann is someone I serve with and out of the love of Jesus for me.  I receive the same from her.  We both know, however, that it is the love of Jesus that we give to each other.

Expecting your spouse to be more than they were ever meant to be?